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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29909802">Rose &amp; Eridan Contemplate Mollusks</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Classpectanon/pseuds/Classpectanon'>Classpectanon</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Three Hundred And Sixty Five Ficlets About Homestuck [66]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Homestuck</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - No Sburb/Sgrub Sessions, Gen, Good-Humored Discussions of How Weird Snails Are, Slice of Life</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 19:41:18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>818</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29909802</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Classpectanon/pseuds/Classpectanon</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Rose quietly bounced up and down on her bed with slightly manic energy flowing through her veins like so much lightning, making her fingertips crackle and buzz while nature documentaries played on her laptop screen. The air outside the house was her favorite kind of air, cold and salty, tasting of the ocean despite it being so far away, and absolutely drenched in rain. Eridan, her new friend from school, was busy also watching the laptop, sitting in a pile of scarves, enraptured by the vision of snails moving across the screen while his nails dried off. They had just done each other's nails, so, it only felt right to recline and relax for a bit and enjoy mollusks.</p><p>66/365</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Eridan Ampora &amp; Rose Lalonde</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Three Hundred And Sixty Five Ficlets About Homestuck [66]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2085684</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Rose &amp; Eridan Contemplate Mollusks</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Rose quietly bounced up and down on her bed with slightly manic energy flowing through her veins like so much lightning, making her fingertips crackle and buzz while nature documentaries played on her laptop screen. The air outside the house was her favorite kind of air, cold and salty, tasting of the ocean despite it being so far away, and absolutely drenched in rain. Eridan, her new friend from school, was busy also watching the laptop, sitting in a pile of scarves, enraptured by the vision of snails moving across the screen while his nails dried off. They had just done each other's nails, so, it only felt right to recline and relax for a bit and enjoy mollusks.</p><p>A man with a very charming British accent regaled them with all the information they could ever want to know - inundated them, really - about the wild world of mollusks. Snails, slugs, clams and other bivalves, it was all about those slimy boys. Even a cephalopod or two, although the hyperspecific internet documentary was, for the most part, about gastropods, with only the slightest mention of squids and octopi. A snail crawled across a leaf and Rose felt like she had to cry a little bit, tears of rapt joy, watching the slimy boy nibble at some plant matter in extreme close-up. They had both expressed a shared appreciation of the squishier things in life, with Eridan keeping Rose enraptured with an exhaustive rattling-off of various cephalopod facts when they had first met, and so, it felt appropriate to return the favor.</p><p><span class="rose">"Did you know that snails are hermaphroditic, Eridan?"</span> Rose quipped, apropos of nothing, as there was another wide-angle macro lens shot of a snail crawling up a piece of rotten wood. Oh yeah. That's the stuff. A crash of lightning outside filled the room with rumbling noise, like a plane passing overhead, the entire foundations of the manor gently vibrating in resonance with the unearthly booming. Their own miniature earthquake fresh from the sky, striking down somewhere in the forest nearby and likely lighting a small fire that would quickly be doused by the torrential downpour.</p><p><span class="eridan">"I don't think we're allowed to say that anymore."</span> Eridan replied glibly.</p><p>Rose laughed exactly two ha's, and then continued on blithely. <span class="rose">"No, I don't mean that, I mean like... In the academic sense, they are capable of producing fertilizing material and fertilizing material themselves. Accepting fertilizing material."</span></p><p><span class="eridan">"Rose, why are you talking about snail sex."</span> Eridan answered with a glum but well-humored monotone. <span class="eridan">"Don't ruin this incredible nature documentary with talk about snail fuckin'. I don't think I could ever look you in the eye again."</span></p><p>The screen flicked to two snails coiled around each other, taking up almost the entirety of the camera screen. The narrator began talking about snail fucking. <span class="eridan">"God fuckin' damnit."</span></p><p><span class="rose">"Listen closely, I bet he's going to say the word "love darts"."</span> Rose said out into the empty air, grinning with only the sort of wondrous childlike malice that a sixteen year old torturing their friend could muster. And indeed, it took less than a minute before the distinctive combination of phonemes that created the word "Love darts", but said in that deep British tone, forced a full body simultaneous cringe out of Eridan and Rose alike. <span class="rose">"Basically, imagine if you and your darling honey love of your life were both genderless androgynes..."</span></p><p><span class="eridan">"Alright, you have my attention."</span> Eridan semi-interrupted in Rose's thusly appropriated dramatic pause in the conversation.</p><p>Rose pursed her lips into a pleased smile. <span class="rose">"And to determine which one of you carries the babies you literally start fencing."</span></p><p><span class="eridan">"See, when you put it that way it just sounds like a weird manga. Sounds like something I'd see taking place in fuckin' France or something. With like... nobles, and epaulets."</span> Eridan responded, shrugging his shoulders and reclining further into the scarf pile. <span class="eridan">"In fact I am pretty sure I have read this exact manga before. Wait, isn't the dude in the documentary going to explain it to us? Why are you--"</span></p><p><span class="rose">"But each person's rapier is actually their dick, and is also made out of bones, and covered in poison. Venom. Covered in venom."</span> Rose finished, leaning back into a pillow. <span class="rose">"That is how the snails manage. Can you imagine?"</span></p><p>Eridan looked over at Rose with an eyebrow raised as high as he could physically pull it. <span class="eridan">"See, now you've lost me. I'm just going to go back to paying attention to the documentary."</span> Almost immediately, as if to exacerbate Eridan's amused torture, the documentarian showed on screen a diagram of snail sex. <span class="eridan">"Oh, for fucks-- are they really fuckin' called love darts? Like, for real, by people who study snails?"</span></p><p><span class="rose">"I have literally never heard them referred to in any other way."</span> Rose answered.</p><p><span class="eridan">"Wild."</span> Eridan replied, rolling over onto his front to watch the screen with his chin caught in his hands.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you for reading. All views, kudos, comments, and bookmarks are appreciated.<br/><a href="https://twitter.com/classpectanon">Twitter</a></p></blockquote></div></div>
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